Saturday, 21 January 2012

My 2 Pence: The reality of dating

Why does it feel as though black men are doomed from the get go? All we want is one person to check for and chill with in a drama free way. Ladies hate that the good ones are gay which usually manifests in the form of hateful comments which come off derogatory to guys especially whilst in the process of getting to an inner peace. The feelings are internalized because discreet dude ain't confiding confidential info in a chick. Then there are the lack of mainstream examples of what the reality is really like.

 If the mainstream image of gay representation was balanced with the masculine side then there would be more acceptance in the ignorant circles. Put simply, being gay is a mindset not a look. The are so many black gay guys who have no feminine traits who get side stepped in the mainstream.

 Guys that have been honest with their close friends and family and who are trying to find love like everyone else. Guys who have a dimmer level of 'outness'; comfortable with who they are and not feeling the need to shout from the rooftops. 

They are however part of a limited sub group in an environment full of people that want a different dude each night or worse, multiple dudes in the same session. Dudes who have slept around infamously and are wanting someone who will overlook their past ways. Dudes who have had it ingrained through religion and upbringing that what is a natural desire is the worst thing you could possibly be so suffer from panic attacks and anxiety and bouts of abstinence from pursuing guys in the hope that the desire for guys will go away. Guys that are feminine by design, and guys who want their uniqueness to be visual.

So how are you supposed to manage the hate, yet also pursue the happy ever after? 

 Just thinking out loud...


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